3qtr2008 – Not Just Talk! Newsletter

Table of Contents – 3qtr2008 – Not Just Talk! Newsletter

• Book Review: The Power of Ren
• Ask the Coach: Any Good Jokes?
• Notable Quotables: Great Things I Didn't Say (First)
• GottaGettaBlog! Highlights
• Employee Performance Review Aid
• What's News at GottaGettaCoach!?

The Power of Ren – Book Review

Title: The Power of Ren: China’s Coaching Phenomenon
Authors: Eva Wong, Lawrence Leung
ISBN-13: 9780470822159

While modern-day coaching has its roots in the Western world, one might say that much of coaching has to do with getting in touch with one’s Eastern sensibilities. As such, I was very eager to read The Power of Ren to see how authors Wong and Leung applied Western coaching techniques in China. And while this book might not appeal to people who aren’t already coaches, it nevertheless has some keen insights to share about coaching and the impact it can have on people, regardless of culture or geography.

“The bedrock of Chinese thought is shaped mostly Confucianism, but also by Buddhism and Taoism,” say Wong and Leung. “And while these three philosophical traditions are in many ways vastly different, they all share a preoccupation with harmonizing the inner and outer self.” So, too with coaching. “Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism can all be used in developing one’s potential. Their focus is the betterment of things through the betterment of the person.”

The authors share numerous examples of how clients from a shoe company, a chain of beauty salons, a jewelry dealer, manufacturers of fertilizers and high tech circuitry, department stores, restaurants, and more, all successfully capitalized on the burgeoning Chinese economy by using their Nine-Dot Leadership model – nine core beliefs and attitudes that are essential to effective leadership – to help build their businesses:

Dot One - Passion – “A passionless person is like a pebble that, when dropped into water, creates no ripples. Those who lack passion always retreat in the fact of challenge.” The components of Passion are:

(a) True Values – “Only those who are absolutely sincere can fully develop their nature.”

(b) Freedom of Choice – “We have complete freedom to determine your self-worth and our attitudes.”

(c) Self-Expression – This is “revealing the self without a mask, and being as sincere as possible.”

Dot Two – Commitment – “In shunning commitment, we reveal only a lack of self-confidence. Commitment uncompleted through action destroys our credibility, but shying away from commitment robs us of the opportunity to build credibility.” Elements of Commitment are:

(a) Self-Discipline – “Whatever we commit to do … we have to impose discipline on ourselves to ensure it happens.”

(b) Integrity – “Our past actions form the basis of other people’s expectations of us. It is on the basis of these past actions that people decide whether they can take us at our word.”

(c) Focused Attention – “Generally, it is not outside factors that prevent us from reaching our goals, but something inner.”

Dot Three – Responsibility – “We tend to be much better at identifying what *others* should be responsible for than we ourselves.”

(a) Non-Separation – “The reason we are unwilling to take responsibility is because of our sense of separation from others and from things.”

(b) Willingness – “When responsibility comes from the heart, it comes with a spirit of willingness, and this is a way of saying that responsibility is an attitude.”

(c) Initiative – “When we willingly take initiative, our hearts are light and we don’t complain.”

Dot Four – Appreciation – “We have to learn appreciation that transcends good or bad, and beautiful or ugly … appreciation is an affirmation of others.”

(a) Love – “Appreciation out of love entails paying attention to the other person and loving his or her strengths. It is not about projecting your values on to others.”

(b) Cherishing Ourselves and Others – “Appreciation means choosing to see people’s strengths and the good sides of situations. It means cherishing what we all have, and suspending judgment.”

(c) Acceptance – “Appreciation cannot be expressed through refusal; it is expressed through acceptance.”

Dot Five – Giving – “For most of us, giving is conditional – we expect something in return. But this kind of giving is actually a form of taking. True giving is just what it suggests – we give unconditionally, expecting nothing back.”

(a) Selfishness – “A feeling that most of us can related to is the feeling we get when we donate to a worthwhile charity. We expect nothing in return, but in fact we do get something. Giving is always selfish, in this sense.”

(b) Joy – “You may be unhappy because you’re not making other people in your life happy.”

(c) Selflessness – “In selflessness, the other person is most important.”

Dot Six – Trust – “When we think about trust, we think about other people. But is that really the way it should be? When we are the initiators of trust, the behavior of those who receive it doesn’t affect us.”

(a) Creation – “When trust is offered unconditionally, it is a form of creation.”

(b) Fearlessness – “Fearlessness is an external manifestation of a deep ability to extend trust.”

(c) Relinquishing Control – “Only *we* determine whether or not we will trust, and on what basis we chose to do so. Distrust, on the other hand, is a form of control. When we mistrust others, we have a powerful need to control everything.”

Dot Seven – Win-Win – “Imagine a wrestling match. To be sure, one of the wrestlers will lose, but the winner will suffer a great deal of pain too. But let us imagine not a wrestling match, but a tango, where competition is replaced by a smooth back-and-forth collaboration.”

(a) Perspective – “Every piece, no matter how small, is an essential part of the whole.”

(b) Respect – “When we respect others, we don’t force them to do what they don’t want to do; and when we respect ourselves, we don’t allow others to force us to do what we don’t want to do.”

(c) Compassion – “As Confucius put it, ‘Noble men may differ in views but they are in harmony, while the ignoble share similar views and are disharmony.’”

Dot Eight – Enrollment – “A spirit of enrollment is defined as stimulating people’s dreams and rousing them to take action accordingly. Leadership enrolls action, not though commands or compulsory means, but by inspiration to join in a meaningful game.”

(a) Dreams – “If we want people to change their behavior, we have to touch their hearts.”

(b) Manifestation – “We become willing to adapt our behavior when we can see the advantages of doing so from observing other people’s experiences. We hope to share that experience, and we become enthusiastic about enrolling.”

(c) Inspiration – “If enrollment is a force that shines through belief and conviction, inspiration is the active follow-up that clear others’ minds of the confusion that is standing in the way of their becoming part of the mission.”

Dot Nine – Possibilities – “Possibilities are like water, which can take on infinite forms – in a cup, it takes on the form of a cup; in a river, it takes on the form of a river and flows to the seas, where it takes on the form of the sea. In fact, life is like water – it is fluid and ever changing. It is limited only by our beliefs, by the possibilities we can see in any given situation.”

(a) Nothingness – “To embrace possibilities, we need to abandon models, strip away boundaries, and look to nothingness. We need to think of nothingness not so much as avoid but as a space that allows us infinite room for movement.”

(b) Humility – “I know. I don’t know. I know what I don’t know. I don’t know what I don’t know. The first is an expression of a limiting world view; the last three statements are expressions of humility.”

(c) Inquiry – “A path of continual learning, as Confucius understood, is the only path to wisdom.”

Any Good Jokes? – Ask the Coach

Question: Barry, I could use good laugh – got any good jokes to share?!

Answer: Well this one’s probably been around the Internet three or four times already, but when it recently showed up in my inbox I laughed right out loud:

“You know about the guy who was getting a brain transplant? He was told he could get a woman’s brain for $4,000 or a man’s brain for $10,000.

“The brain transplant recipient asked the transplant doctors why the woman’s brain would cost so much less than the man’s brain.

“The transplant doctor explained it was because the woman’s brain was used…”

Notable Quotables: Great Things I Didn't Say (First)

• "Do no evilness because it is a small one; do not leave a small deed undone because it is just a petty one." - Liu Bei
• “First organize the inner, then organize the outer ... First organize the great, then organize the small. First organize yourself, then organize others." - Zhuge Liang
• Life is finite, While knowledge is infinite. - Zhuang Zi
• “Our attitude towards ourselves should be ‘to be satiable in learning’ and towards others ‘to be tireless in teaching.” - Mao Zedong
• “At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” - Laozi
• “When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them.” - Confucius

GottaGettaBlog! Highlights from 2qtr2008

I've been using GottaGettaBlog! as a vehicle to capture news, notes, and musings about coaching, mentoring, and getting more from YOUR Untapped Potential – along with whatever other I happen to find amusing and/or thought-provoking – since June of 2003.

Some highlighted blog postings from last quarter are listed below – just follow the links to read what written:

from April 2008

• Who's in Your Doghouse?
• Hello, Barry? This is the BBC News calling...
• From (totally) Perfect to (merely) Excellent

from May 2008

• The BEST Interview Prep Question EVER
• Life on Track: In a Minute You Could ...
• Professional Development: What Works

from June 2008

• Stupid Questions and What Happens Next
• The Five (or Six) Truths About Fear
• Tim Russert, 1950-2008

As always, your on-line comments at GottaGettaBlog! and its 2003-2007 archives are both welcomed and encouraged. If you don’t already receive monthly digests of GottaGettaBlog!, you can update your subscription here. Thanks.

Employee Performance Review Aid

Not quite done with your mid-year performance reviews yet? Come on, now. It’s time, whether you’re ready or not. But to help provide a little added incentive, take a look at, Employee Performance Discussions: 10 Important Things a Boss MUST Know How to Say – a downloadable e-book that’s all about how to have an effective performance discussion without being a jerk … or a wimp.

In Employee Discussions, you get:

• Specifically-phrased performance improvement messages that you can use not just at review time, but any time of the year
• Case studies that identify typical performance problems and show how to give powerful, constructive, and totally respectful, performance feedback about them
• Plus more

To get your copy of Employee Performance Discussions, visit http://www.employee-discussions.com/ today.

GottaGettaCoach! News from 2qtr2008

• Barry Zweibel is nominated by several of his peers for a seat on the Global Board of Directors of the International Coach Federation.
• Professional Development: What Works, by Sally J. Zepeda, Ph.D., and professor at the University of Georgia, was recently published by Eye On Education and the National Staff Development Council. In it, some prior work by Barry Zweibel was cited (pages 191-193) and discussed.
• The April 18, 2008 edition of the Torch newspaper referenced some volunteer work Barry Zweibel is doing for the Scarves with a Purpose organization - Barry is managing their website, http://www.scarveswithapurpose.com/, which is now ranked #1 in Google for the search terms "donate scarves" and "scarves for the homeless." If you like to knit, be sure to check them out!
• GGCI relocates its global headquarters to Suite 204 at the same address.
• TheLadders.com reprints an article written by Barry Zweibel titled, "Help Them Say Yes: Provide a 90-Day Plan" which was first published by them in March 2006.